


Dark Waters

by BRR77872



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, M/M, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Keith/Lance (Voltron), dark lance, wow i made myself cry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-06 07:39:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14052141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BRR77872/pseuds/BRR77872
Summary: He remembers screaming. What he was saying, exactly, was lost to him. Maybe it was Lance’s name? He didn’t know. But he was screaming, screaming so hard that his voice went raw and his eyes stung. Or maybe his eyes stung because he was crying? Yeah, he was crying. That was definitely what it was, what else would be sliding down his cheeks, dripping under his chin, what other thing besides hot, salty tears would catch at the corners of his lips?It wasn’t supposed to end like this.





	Dark Waters

It wasn’t supposed to end like this. Keith was so wrapped up in the situation, so detached from everything else but the mission at hand that he didn’t even notice when it happened, he didn’t notice Lance’s silence, he didn’t notice when the Blue-turned-Red Paladin made a decision that would change the course of everyone’s life. He was so far gone, so lost in the concept that they were finally, _finally_ , getting Shiro back that he didn’t even notice when his own right hand made the decision to sacrifice himself for the completion of the mission.

He remembers screaming. What he was saying, exactly, was lost to him. Maybe it was Lance’s name? He didn’t know. But he was screaming, screaming so hard that his voice went raw and his eyes stung. Or maybe his eyes stung because he was crying? Yeah, he was crying. That was definitely what it was, what else would be sliding down his cheeks, dripping under his chin, what other thing besides hot, salty tears would catch at the corners of his lips?

And Lance, fucking _Lance_ , was yards away, giving Keith a small, sad, smile. He was crying, too, Keith could tell that much as the Cuban boy stood on the docking bay of the Galran battle cruiser, it’s steel doors slowly sliding shut. The intercom was a mess. Pidge was panicking, Hunk was crying, Allura was yelling to Coran, something about backup, and Keith was screaming. The only thing that got them all to shut up was the sound of Lance’s voice, cutting through the chaos like a ray of light on a cloudy day.

“ _I love you guys_.”

And then they all watched as the Galran ship exploded.

The only sound that filled Keith’s ears was static. Like one of those old TVs, the sound crackling softly throughout his mind. His body felt numb and he couldn’t comprehend why The Red Lion didn’t swoop down to save Lance. He couldn’t comprehend anything. They didn’t even get Shiro back and the stupid mission cost Lance his life. Because the stupid boy was so so so selfless. Because he’d do anything for his friends, for his _family_ , even if that meant giving his own life. Because of _Keith_ and his stupid habit of diving head first into a situation without even taking a second to think about it. Because Keith had been so focused on the mission, so focused on getting Shiro back, that he couldn’t even see that this whole thing had been a _trap_. A fucking _trap_ the Galra created just to get Voltron within striking distance again.

And no, the Galra hadn’t gotten Voltron this time, but they’d taken something, _someone_ , far more valuable than a fucking Space Robot.

Hot, salty tears streamed down Keith’s face and he suddenly felt like he couldn’t breath. His heart clenched in his chest and his tongue felt like lead in his mouth. A dark cloud curled over his mind and it was too much, it was all _too_ _much_. They couldn’t exist without Lance. He was the glue that held them all together, having Shiro back would never replace the hole Lance left behind with his death

Oh god, his _death_.

_Lance is dead._

Keith held back a sob.

Pidge’s voice broke the silence. For the first time since Keith met her she sounded small and tired and _defeated_.

“We... we cant stay here.” She breathed. “It’s too dangerous.” No one responded. Pidge pushed on, “Another Galra ship could show up at any moment. Guys, _we need to go_.” Slowly, as if being taken out of a trance, everyone responded. Hunk let out a broken sigh and said, “Okay, yeah, Pidge is right” around his tears. Allura’s voice sounded void of any emotion and she simply said, “Okay.”

And Keith couldn’t believe them. Was he the only sensible person here? They had all just seen Lance _die_ and they were trying to retreat?! No, no they couldn’t just let this be! They couldn’t go back, not without Lance, not without his body or _something_ to give him a proper burial! Goddammit why were they trying to run away like they hadn’t just lost a teammate?!

“No.” Keith said firmly, determination setting in his features. Despite this his hands shook slightly as he gripped The Black Lions controls. “We’re not going back... not without something of his. Not without Lance, we can’t... we can’t just _leave_ , dammit!”

Pidge snapped at him.

“There’s nothing left, Keith!” She shrieked. “Take a good, long look because everything is gone.” Her voice cracked. “Lance is _gone_.”

Keith did look, and Pidge was right. Everything around the explosion was completely incinerated. Nothing was left besides a few pieces of debris.

Allura spoke next. “Pidge is right. We need to go. Lance gave us this opportunity to escape, let’s not waste it.”

Dammit, why were they _right_?!

Keith’s voice wavered pathetically when he spoke,

“Fine. Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

 

The thing Keith remembers most about Him is His eyes. They were like deep pools of blue, swirling and clashing with a number of different emotions, always unpredictable, like the ocean. Keith remembers how they changed shades depending on the light He was under, how those eyes sparkled with mirth whenever they got into a petty argument, how they darkened when He was determined and how they burned with unchecked _fury_ whenever He fought. Most of all Keith remembers the raw passion. It was always there, in whatever He did. Whether it was arguing with Keith over the stupid Vol-Tron chant or if it was in the midst of battle, _He was always passionate._

They’ve all adjusted in their own ways. Sometimes Hunk forgets He’s gone. One time he’d been so excited about figuring out that the food machine made more than food goo, had been so ready to share this new information that he called out His name. Because He was _always_ at Hunks side. Why wouldn’t He be now? What had changed?

Except everything, of course. Everything had changed.

When Hunk realized his mistake he’d slowly deflated, said nothing else and left the room quietly. No one saw him for the rest of the day.

Sometimes Keith wandered into His room. When he couldn’t sleep he’d curl into a small ball in the middle of His bed, clutch His jacket tightly and cry silently to himself because the jacket smelled like _Him_. And of course it did, because it had been _His_.

When Keith started wearing the jacket none of the team commented on it. They knew better not to.

His absence was always glaringly apparent whenever they took the Lions out to answer a call. There was no Red Paladin anymore, they couldn’t form Voltron, and no one was going off looking for a new person to add to the team anytime soon, but they all had a job to do. Keith had to pilot Black and lead the team, so he sucked it up and left the grieving for when he was alone in his own room back at the castle.

Keith doesn’t know how long they trudged on like that. Living in an unspoken agreement to never say His name, to try and fill the silences He’d left them with, to ignore bloodshot puffy eyes in the morning because they all knew what they’d been crying about the night before.

When they found Shiro, or more like when he found them, he didn’t know, he couldn’t have known. Keith, Hunk, Pidge, Coran and Allura couldn’t blame him. It had been a simple question, one that all of them had expected, but that did nothing to stop the way it made Keith’s heart squeeze uncomfortably in his chest.

“Where’s Lance?”

Keith remembers how harshly he flinched at the name. The name he’d avoided saying for what felt like months. _His name_.

When Shiro saw the look on everyone’s faces, saw how Keith seemed to fold himself into a jacket that clearly was not his own, saw Hunk bite his lip, saw Pidge look down at her feet and saw Allura’s face turn to stone he connected the dots. They sat in silence for a while after that, and then Shiro moved on like nothing had happened. Keith wasn’t sure if he was relieved or pissed off at Shiro’s seemingly lack of interest in the topic, but he never brought it up. Slowly things started going back to a semi-normal state. Shiro took The Black Lion back and after a few days of trying Red takes Keith back, too. They don’t speak about how empty it is without Him, instead they work their way around it. Some of the light returns to Allura’s eyes, Hunk gets some of his spunk back and Pidge grows increasingly snarkier with each passing day. Coran starts addressing them by order of their heights again and it’s bittersweet because now Keith’s moved up on the list. Keith starts interacting with his teammates again, stops shutting himself off completely like he’d done when it was all fresh and new. Sometimes they still wake up with red, puffy eyes, but no one says anything. And it’s all only about half of what it could be if He was there, but everyone is trying, and that’s what matters.

That brings them to where they are now. It’s been about a month since they lost Him, or it could be longer, it’s hard to tell in space. If you ask Keith he’ll say that it’s felt like forever.

Keith blinks his eyes open to the darkness of his room, his breathing heavy, a cold sheen of sweat settled on his forehead. Waking up from nightmares was normal before he was even in space, but now they begin almost as soon as he closes his eyes. But it’s okay because nine times out of ten Keith doesn’t want to go to sleep, anyways, and if he really needs it he’ll just train so hard that it’s nothing his body can do but pass out once he’s done.

Eventually Keith’s eyes to adjust to the darkness of his room and he lets out a shaky breath. To be honest he couldn’t even remember what the nightmare was about, the only trace it left on him was a dull ringing in his ears. Even so, his heart seemed to think that was good enough reason to continue to pump wildly in his chest, which was silly. Keith’s eyebrows furrowed and he mentally scolded himself, willing himself to get a grip. A stupid nightmare (that he didn’t even remember) shouldn’t be effecting him as much as it was. It’s a figment of his fucked up imagination and nothing more.

Slowly he got his breathing under control and his heart slowed to a steady rhythm within his chest. Letting out a heavy sigh Keith rolled over onto his side, bare feet coming in contact with the floor. The lights in his room flickered on in response to the movement and Keith pushed himself off of the bed, moving to the bathroom to begin his morning routine. Everything felt slow, but then again nothing felt particularly fast paced anymore. It was like he was just going through the motions, constantly waking up each day and doing these things just because he’s always done them.

After a shower, which couldn’t even be considered a shower because of how quickly he’d gotten out, Keith got dressed. Black jeans and his normal gray shirt, his dagger strapped to his belt and his red boots pulled on his feet. And, because it was routine every morning since the accident, Keith hesitated as he reached for his jacket.

Except it wasn’t really his jacket anymore, was it? Normally he felt comfortable in the red and white material. Sure it was a little small but it had been with Keith for as long as he could remember. But now? Now it felt foreign to him. It just wasn’t _right_ anymore.

So he pulled his hand back, changed direction and reached for the forest green jacket that hung at the edge of his bed instead. Keith felt a sense of comfort as he pulled it on, the material was so different than his own. The fleece inside was soft and warm and the sleeves were a little long so that Keith could tuck his hands inside if he really wanted to. The entire jacket was just slightly too big for him, but it was fine, he liked it that way. It didn’t smell like Him anymore. Keith had worn it so many times that the scent faded, but it was still nice. Nice to have something of His at all times of the day.

Finally strapping his bayard to his hip Keith stepped out of his room. It was quiet, and Keith figured he was the first one up. Wandering into the kitchen he sat himself down and ate a bowl of food that was the Altean equivalent to breakfast, a thick blue substance that tasted something like yogurt and small purple pieces of fruit that tasted like a mango and a raspberry had a baby. Keith ate slowly and for once his mind was completely blank, any sign of the nightmare that had woken him up had completely vanished.

Keith didn’t know how long he sat there, or at what point he’d finished his breakfast, but soon Hunk was coming into the room, a small smile on his lips. It didn’t reach his eyes.

“Hey, man.” Hunk greeted, grabbing a bowl and filling it up with the same food Keith had been eating before plopping down in the seat across from the Red Paladin. Keith gave the boy a small smile in greeting, leaning his head on his hand.

“Hey. Is everyone else up yet?” Keith asked, swirling his spork around in his empty bowl. Hunk nodded his head, swallowing a mouth full of food.

“Yep, Pidge is down in her Hangar and Shiro is with Allura and Coran discussing diplomatic plans.” Hunk informed him. And it was almost easy to pretend like this was a normal day, that He would wake up, the latest out of all of them, and stroll around the castle bidding everyone a good morning. It made Keith’s chest clench because he could so easily see Him strolling in here, could so easily hear Him humming a tune that was foreign to Keith’s ears.

Now there was nothing but the sound of Hunks spork clinking against his bowl.

Keith gripped the edges of the jacket tightly, shaking the thoughts from his head as he stood from the table. It was never good to reminisce about the things He did before everything happened. It just lead to tears and an heavy heart. What Keith needed was an escape, something to take his mind off the endless thought that was _Him_. Training always seemed to do the trick, so that’s what Keith was headed to do, until the castles alarms blared overhead.

Hunk’s head snapped up and they spared one another a quick glance before rushing off to the control room. Pidge joined them not a moment later, glasses askew on her face.

“What’s going on?” Keith asked, trying to keep his panic under control. It couldn’t be as bad as he thought it was and he willed his brain to fuck off for once; his mind was running wild with theories that were so ridiculous it was almost laughable.

“Oh god have the Galra found us?” Hunk asked, his voice a few pitches higher than usual, not even bothering to hide his panic. But, Keith thinks, it’s okay because that’s just how Hunk is, the guy always wears his emotions on his sleeve. Maybe not as much as _He_ used to. _He_ wore His emotions like a suit of armor. Hunk has always been a little more reserved.

Pidge gave a long yawn, adjusting her glasses on her face. Keith took note of her bloodshot eyes. She must’ve been up late searching for information on her brother and father again.

“It’s too early in the morning for this.” She said with a simple yawn, leaning her head on Hunks shoulder. The Yellow Paladin laughed tensely, patting Pidge on the head.

“Well you’ll have to wake up, and fast,” Came Shiro’s voice, stern and steady, like how it always was when the team came across an unexpected opportunity. “You know the Galra ship Pidge hacked into? Well she found evidence that they might be harboring a secret weapon, and this is the ship it’s on.”

Allura pulled up a map, and, marked in red, was the location of said Galra ship. She picked up talking right after Shiro and Keith briefly wondered if they knew they did that, finished each others thoughts like they were two birds chirping the same song or something.

“We don’t know exactly how powerful this weapon is, but we cannot take a risk and allow it to continue to develop.” Allura said, turning to face them all. Somehow she looked much older and Keith noted duly that it was because of the bags under her eyes.

“So we’re going to take it out.” She finished. And yeah, she looked like she hadn’t slept right in several years but her face was still a mask of determination.

“Wait wait wait,” the objection came from Hunk and he looked none too pleased about the turn of events.

“We’ve been trying to avoid Galra ships for weeks,” he said slowly, as if he were explaining something complicated to a child, “And now we’re just going to dive straight into a Galra battleship because we _suspect_ that they have a weapon?” And, as if to emphasize his point further, he looked at Shiro like he was an absolute crackpot.

Coran let out a hum, twirling his orange mustache around his finger and nodding his head. “I have to agree with my boy Hunk on this one. We’d basically be inviting the Galra to attack.”

Shiro nodded in understanding,  
“I know it seems like a big risk but it’s something we have to do.” He said, voice like steel, “What if we don’t take it out now and it grows strong enough to take on Voltron? We have an opportunity to get rid of that possibility.”

Pidge yawned again, pushing herself off of Hunks arm to stand upright on her own.

“We don’t all have to go in.” She added helpfully. “And we don’t have to make a mess of things. Green has cloaking abilities. We could park the castle far away enough that the Galra ships sensors can’t find us and I can move in on Green undetected, take care of the weapon and then be out before they even notice something’s wrong.”

Keith had to admit, it was a good plan. There was just one teensy tiny detail he didn’t like about it, but that was an easy fix.

“You’re not going to infiltrate a Galra ship alone.” Keith said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m coming with you.” Pidge shrugged.

“I’m not opposed to that.” She said simply, “I’d need someone to watch my back anyways.”

Hunk sighed heavily, “Oh my god we’re actually doing this..” he groaned. Allura gave them a grin, her blue eyes burning brightly with newfound excitement.

“This may actually work.” She said. They all turned to Shiro expectantly. The man let out a heavy sigh, pushing back the tuft of white hair that rested on his forehead.

“It’s the best plan we’ve got.” he admitted. Coran was already moving to the castles control panels, his voice chipper as he spoke,

“Setting a course for the Galran battle cruiser!”

“Alright, Paladins, suit up!” Allura called. Pidge turned to look at him and Keith grinned slightly. The girl grinned back and they bumped fist briefly before running off to suit up. Keith had a feeling about this mission, he wasn’t sure if it was good or bad but he was pretty eager to find out.

 

* * *

 

 

Infiltrating a Galra ship for the first time since they lost Him went a lot smoother than Keith expected it to. Pidge had the right idea with the whole cloaking thing and they slid in completely undetected. The ship was surprisingly quiet. There were no Sentries patrolling the halls as they navigated through and so far he and Pidge had managed to avoid one lone Galra soldier. It was a somewhat simple mission if Keith really thought about it, all they had to do was follow the map Pidge had created, find the weapon, destroy it and then sneak back out before anyone noticed. The ship being half empty helped with all of that and in no time they were only feet away from said weapon.

Keith presses his back flat against the wall, gripping his sword tightly in his hand. Everything is quiet save for the sound of Pidge speaking quietly next to him, her eyes trained on the map she had in her hands.

“The Lab is just around the corner,” she says, “We need to be careful, it looks like two guards are stationed in front of the door, but there’s gotta be more inside so keep a lookout.”

Keith nods in response, his hand tightening around his bayard. “Alright. I take right you take left.” He instructed. Pidge grabs her bayard off of her belt, nodding in determination.

“Right.”

They stay behind the wall for another moment before Keith is launching himself around the corner, heading straight for the guard at the right. Keith can’t spare a glance at Pidge to see how she’s doing because he’s completely thrown into his fight, slashing his sword at any opening the guard gives him. And it’s a little strange because these are actual Galra soldiers, not Sentries. It only leads Keith to the conclusion that this weapon must be of immense importance for the Galra to use their own flesh and blood to protect it.

Keith grunts as he ducks under a sloppy swing of the guards sword, twisting and slashing his sword upwards to cut into the soldiers now unprotected side. The guard stumbles back and Keith finishes him off with a blow to the chest. The soldier slumps down the wall, eyes fluttering, dead.

The Red Paladin turns, ready to help Pidge out with her guy, but he’s slumped on the ground, knocked out cold. Pidge grins.

“Took you long enough.” She jokes, pressing the unconscious guards hand to the access pad. The door beeps in recognition and Keith readies himself for a fight. The metal doors slide open.

There’s no one inside.

The two Paladins look at one another in suspicion before stepping inside. There’s nothing in the room save for a giant pod hooked up to multiple tubes. It’s a lot like the healing pods back at the castle, but this one had no glass, no way to look in. It’s solid black all around.

“This is their big weapon?” Pidge asks, walking around the pod with curious eyes. She flicks one of the tubes that leads into the pod, it does nothing, shaking only slightly before stilling once again. Keith hums in response, trailing his fingers along the cold metal.

“I guess it is.” The Red Paladin says simply, feeling around for a slot in the pod that could pop it open. There’s one all the way to the left, running up the entire length of the pod.

“Pidge, I’m going to open it.” Keith warned. Pidge makes no words of protest, and doesn’t have time to, really, because Keith is already pulling the door open. A small hiss fills the air as the pressure inside is released. Keith grunts, pushing the door open all the way until what’s inside is on full display.

Pidge is frozen in her spot and Keith’s heart wrenches painfully in his chest, all the oxygen leaving his chest with one painful _whoosh_.

“Lance...”

He’s there, in the pod, clad in a black and purple jumpsuit, chest rising and falling at a steady pace. His chestnut brown hair is a little longer than before and he has a large jagged scar running through his left eyebrow and over his eye, hooking up at an awkward angle before it ends at his cheek, but it’s him. He’s there and he’s _alive_.

 _Lance is alive_.


End file.
